I have been accused more than once of being full of rage.
My dad was also full of rage and when I was in my 20’s I saw I carried the same rage and I thought it was a problem. I went to the college counselor and told him I had an anger problem that I wanted help with. He listened for a little bit, but didn’t really offer any advice except to hand me copies of chapters out of some book. I read some of it, but couldn’t relate to it very well. It seemed to just attack the behavior and not the cause.
I am now nearly 37 years old and I no longer view my rage as a problem. In fact, I’ve learned that its not so much the fact I have rage, but how I harness and use it that really makes it good or bad. My dad was severely depressed and his rage caused him to scream in my face and make me feel worthless. He’d punch holes in the walls, throw glass pepper shakers across the room and watch the glass and pepper splatter all over after hitting the wall. He’d slam pots and pans down on the floor. He’d flip tables. His rage was violent and scary. I was afraid of becoming like this.
And sure, sometimes I slam doors when I’m the most pissed, but I’d like to think my rage is expressed mostly in words. And the things that make me rage are very different than the things that would set off my dad’s rage.
George Zimmerman getting away with murder – rage.
Sandra Bland getting roughed up because she wouldn’t put out her cigarette and eventually murdered in her jail cell – rage.
Seeing a chart showing the Democrats being in control of both chambers of Congress with a Democrat President for a grand total of 4 years since Reagan first took office in 1981 and then have people on the internet tell me the Democrats have been controlling the agenda for the past 30 years – rage.
Remembering the myriad of ways Republicans have obstructed progress since I was a teenager in the 90’s and having people today forget all the nuance, obstruction, and politics since then to create their own narrative – rage.
Being told Hillary Clinton killed universal healthcare after she was the one in the 90’s who tried to bring it! After remembering the Republicans telling Obama early in his first term “Don’t even think about single payer, because we won’t let it happen”. – rage.
Seeing the very white tears from people who demand a revolution NOW who loudly proclaim “the system” is unfair to them now while conveniently ignoring all the black voices who have been trying to tell us this for over 400 years – rage.
Seeing more Bernie protesters at the DNC in Philadelphia than there were people protesting against fascism at the RNC in Cleveland – rage.
And this morning, after the first day of the DNC and the butthurt tears of Sanders fans who still declare its not over yet, I was accused of being filled with rage and how this particular person has had enough of it.
This, after an entire day of white privilege shouting down speakers who took the podium. Booing Bernie Sanders. Chanting “Black Lives Matter” at Cory Booker while he’s speaking. Chanting whatever the fuck they were saying over Elizabeth Warren. Shouting down Elijah Cummings, one of the best damn congresspeople we have. This isn’t dissent. This isn’t protest. This is BULLSHIT. This is whining like a fucking crybaby because your entitled ass lost the soccer game. The ref missed a call. A foul was called when there was none. You lost. And now you think you have a right to “protest” and “dissent” the same unfair process Hillary Clinton lost too 8 years ago.
Tell me more how that isn’t the same as accusing a woman of sleeping with her bosses as a means of climbing the corporate ladder because there’s no way she has the brains or skills to earn it.
Tell me more about how that isn’t sexist.
And then I’ll ask you why you AREN’T filled with rage.
We have a candidate in charge of the Republican party now who sounds more and more like a fascist dictator every single day. In fact, after the RNC last week, it should be crystal fucking clear the Republicans have chosen unfettered racism, xenophobia, islamaphobia, and “law and order” to run their platform. If you think that platform would not bleed into how they govern the next four years, you are willfully ignorant of reality.
And yet, your privileged white ass is horrified the DNC has imperfect humans in it who expressed disdain for someone who spent most of his campaign shit talking the very party he was trying to take over. And your privileged white ass claims the fact the Russians hacked us is simply a deflection, because CLEARLY people talking shit among themselves is a much more offensive thing to behold.
And yet, your privileged white ass decided to weaponize your feelings to silence people.
I was abused emotionally growing up and you don’t get to weaponize your feelings to me. You don’t get to claim I’m abusing you with my rage because I stripped you of your privileged fucking fantasy. You should be using rage to act and be the change you want to see. If you care and rage about injustice and inequality, then fucking DO something about it. A great step would be to help kill the rise of fascism in this country. Otherwise, I have no more fucking time for you and your privileged shenanigans.